Someone asked me recently what the best thing I ever wrote was. Just the question made my stomach ball up in a knot and put me in the fetal position sucking my thumb. I guess, truth be told, at one time or another I like everything I’ve written, but then there is the flip side of that coin.
As time goes on, something horrible transforms the way I feel about my work. Inevitably, there will come a day when I sit down to read what I’ve written, and the once beautiful and new story will repulse me. Without fail, I’ll slam the laptop shut and send the following text to my best friend, “I hate this story.”
It always seems to happen at about 25,000 words, and always when my characters are not chattering in my brain giving me ideas to work with. No worries though, generally I walk away and let it simmer, give me and my work a cooling off period from our initial spark. And sometimes when I return, I get excited again unable to believe I wrote something so brilliant. (HA!)
I’ve tried to think of ways to avoid the entire ugly scenario. I mean, when the honeymoon period is over, shouldn’t I just be able to snuggle into a comfortable relationship with my latest novel?
I guess it’s a good thing I’ve been married so long. In the dating world, if I treated men like the books I write, they’d never last very long.
Do you suffer from insecurities when you write? How do you get through?
So far, I haven’t “broken up” with the story I’m currently writing, but there are still a few chapters before it’s completely out of the woods!
Monique O’Connor James
Author of The Keepers, Jamais Vu, Deja Vu & The Mulligan Man from Astraea Press
Coming May 2012 – Becoming Jolie from Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Press